The Peter family goes Karting
by Grape 2
Summary: An ungodly mashup of Family guy and garfield kart, John wick and Bling Bling boy also make an appearance. If you read this, i'm not legally responsible for any brain damage you may recieve. rated M because garfields first sentence includes the n word (Its censored tho so its ok) Written in a weird format, beware.
1. Karting

This story was made by me and some friends for fun, I hope you enjoy.

This is written in a weird format because thats how it was made originally and im not gonna change it

N0w procEEd and SEE

PETER GRIFFIN LOST EPISODES! REAL NOT FAKE!

READ NOW!1!

any allegations that this story causes mental or physical injury to the reader is false and should be disregarded.

* * *

k - Peter griffon: Lois i have haert disease

g - lois: huehh

a - Beter griffon: Lois we MUST go karting to cure my heart disease

*Brian Griffon enters the room*

k - brein: ya'll heard of this coin thing

*Brain gets hit by car moving at a FAST pace*

*Stewie teleports to the living room*

g - stewie *between chewing on cool whip*: Bruh, you should take me karting so we can cure you of HEART DISEASE

a - peter giffon: That sounds good stewie, lets go KARTING to cure me of HEART DISEASE

*Meg Griffon enters room*

k - meg: what kind of karting at the kart of ing

*The Cool whip COMBUSTS, covering the room in COOL WHIPP*

g - stewi e: I am unable to liv ewithout cool whip

*Stewie's BRAIN FUNCTIONS cease*

*JOE SWANSON enters the room*

a - joe: my legs no work

*CUTAWAY GAG (lasting 10 minutes OR MORE)*

*the PETER family pulls up to KART PLACE driveway in CAR*

*Garfield enters the scene*

k - Garfield: Yall N***** be trippin

*Garfield SCREAMS in a LOUD and LOW PITCHED tone*

*the PETER family enter the KARTING PLACE and get into their KARTS*

*the RACING TIMER goes to GREEN and the RACE STARTS*

a - Garfield: I will BEAT YOU ALL and get the prize of a delicous and hot LASAGNA

*garfield THROWS a bannana and MEG hits the bannana, then CRASHES off course, KILLING her INSTANTLY*

k - Peter: I love my wife DEARLY

*Peter's KART REAR ENDS garfield's KART*

*LOIS eats MANY CHIPS, covering her STEERING WHEEL in SLIPPERY GREASE, causing her to CRASH AND DIE*

a - Peter: I will get MY REVENGE on the ORANGE CAT known as GARFIELD and I WIlL get the LAsagna for the sake of my (now dead) WIFE

*PETER hits a MYSTERY BOX and gets a 9MM HANDGUN*

a - peter: I will use this GUN to DEFEAT THE GARFIELD and get the LASAGANa

*Peter loads a magazine with MALICIOUS INTENT*

*a 1997 TOYOTA CAMRY enters the RACETRACK and hits the side of PETERS KART before peter can SHOOT GARFIELD*

k - garfield: I hate mondays and MINORITIES, i WILL get the LASAGNA and WIN THIS RACE

*PETER survived the CRASH and is FURIOUS*

g - peter: GARFIELD is a BOOMER, and a HOMOSEXUAL

*Peter HOLDS UP the 9MM HANDGUN*

g - peter: Eat lead you stupid fucking cat bitch garvfiel

k - garfield: Oh No, is that JOHN WICK from FORTNITE

*GARFIELD stares at JOHN WICK, who is sitting in the STANDS watching the KARTING*

*PETER takes advantage of the DISTRACTION and SHOOTS GARFIELD WITH THE 9MM HANDGUN*

*GARFIELDS dead body LIMPS TO THE GROUND*

k - lois's ghost: PETAH

*CUTAWAY GAG*

*Scene Transitions to a clip of the TWIN TOWERS on 9/11 2001*

*PETER GRIFFON goes UP TO garfields CORPSE*

k - peter: L

*PETER DOES A FORTNITE L DANCE to TAUNT garfields DEAD BODY*

*SCENE TRANSITIONS to the PETER FAMILY living room*

a - joe swanson: i dont have no leg

*BLING BLING BOY stands behind JOE brandishing a KARAMBIT FADE csgo KNIFE*

*END*

* * *

I hope everyone who reads this e


	2. Bling Bling Boy

*EPISODE 2*

*Episode starts*

*PETER is sitting in the living room with a LAPTOP*

*LOIS's ghost is HOVERING behind PETER*

a - lois's ghost: PETAH

a - peter: no

*PETER is FURIOUS with his (dead) wife*

*PETER no longer MOURNS her PASSING*

a - peter: I must go on a GAY CHAT WEBSITE to find a new WIFE

*FAST FORWARD/TIMELAPSE of PETER browsing GAY WEBSITES (With split second frame of BLING BLING BOY behind him with a knife)*

*JOE SWANSON enters the living room*

a - joe: i am unable to walk, my leg are broken

a - peter: QUIET joe, I am BROWSING gay WEBSITES to find a new WIFE, as I am FURIOUS with LOIS for BEING c̵̡̧͉̣̠̫͔͉̝͛̂͑̏́̀̇̌͠a̵̭̅̈̍̋͝ņ̷̭̩̫̲̘͈͌̆̏͗̽̏n̶̡͇̳͌̿̽̂̓̒e̶̛̗̲̽̍̀͑̒͒̎̎͝d̵̨̮͍̽̃̊̾̀͘͘̚ ̷͚̞̰̯̉̐̑b̵̛̬͌̑́e̵͍͖͍͙͖̳͙̻͕̓͗͜á̵̧̟͉̝̖̮͓̞͍͕̀̾̂̽̀̄̓n̴̼͚̠̞̦͙̰̱̄ṣ̷̼̝̗̼̪̎̾̄̒̾̇̐̈́͠͠ͅ

a - joe: My legs are broken, I cannot walk, I must use a WHEELCHAIR to move

*JOE dissapates into THIN AIR*

a - peter: Finally I can continue to BROWSE gay WEBSITES to find a replacement for my DEAD WIFE

*BLING BLING BOY materializes BEHIND PETER and SNATCHES the laptop from peter*

a - peter: I am very ANRGY, give me my LAPTOP so I may continue to browse GAY WEBSITES

a - bling bling boy: h͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽o͓̽ ͓̽i͓̽t͓̽s͓̽ ͓̽m͓̽e͓̽,͓̽ ͓̽s͓̽a͓̽n͓̽s͓̽ ͓̽u͓̽n͓̽d͓̽e͓̽r͓̽t͓̽a͓̽l͓̽e͓̽

*PETER does a BACKFLIP over the couch and lands behind BLING BLING BOY*

a - peter: Your REIGN OF TERROR is over bling bling boy, prepare to get GAME ENDED

a - Bling bling boy: h͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽o͓̽ ͓̽i͓̽t͓̽s͓̽ ͓̽m͓̽e͓̽,͓̽ ͓̽s͓̽a͓̽n͓̽s͓̽ ͓̽u͓̽n͓̽d͓̽e͓̽r͓̽t͓̽a͓̽l͓̽e͓̽

*BLING BLIN BOY's LEFT EYE glows a bright BLUE*

a - Bling bling boy: h͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽o͓̽ ͓̽i͓̽t͓̽s͓̽ ͓̽m͓̽e͓̽,͓̽ ͓̽s͓̽a͓̽n͓̽s͓̽ ͓̽u͓̽n͓̽d͓̽e͓̽r͓̽t͓̽a͓̽l͓̽e͓̽

*Bling bling boy THROWS PETER out of the living room and PETER collides with a NEARBY BUILDING*

*THE BUILDING is heavily damaged and a BATHROOM is visible*

*CLEVELAND bathtub fall GAG PLAYS*

a - peter: i'm sorry lois

a - lois: PETAH

*LOIS'S ghost and PETER fuse into ONE BEING, CREATING a large amount of LIGHT*

*the LIGHT dims and PETER is revealed to have turned into LIGHTNING MCQUEEN from the disney/pixar movie CARS*

a - mcqueen: Kachow motherfucker, your sins will be judged

*MCQUEEN eyes glow a BRIGHT RED and a LASER BEAM shoots out from them, hittin BLING BLING BOY*

*Bling bling boy is HEAVILY INJURED*

*SCOOBY DOO and the MYSTERY GANG appear NEXT TO BLING BLING BOY*

*PETER forms back into his FORMER SELF, his wifes DEAD BODY is visible on the PAVEMENT next to him*

a - Shaggy: Oh man, time to REVEAL this mans true IDENTITY

*SHAGGY pulls on BLING BLING BOYS head, his heads skin SLIPPING off to reveal a head UNDERNEATH*

*the HEAD is reveal to be CHRIS GRIFFIN*

a - Shaggy: zoinks scoob i want some pepsi rn

a - Scooby doo: ritch faggot ill kill your entire ramily you stupid rotherfucker, im rerious.

*PETER walks up to CHRIS*

a - Peter: why did you do it son

a - Chris: I seek revenge against OBI WAN KENOBI from the popular sci fi movie series STAR WARS, for OBI WAN KENOBI prevented an EXTRA plane from hitting the TWIN TOWERS during 9/11

*A mangled corpse-like Garfield walks up behind Peter and the Mystery gang*

a - Garfied: I seek REVENGE on you PETER for preventing me from getting the LASAGNA and WINNING THE RACE

*Episode ABRUPTLY ends, making the audience VISIBLY ANGRY*

man can be seen jacking off at the end. he was shot.

* * *

The further you read on, the deeper into the depths of madness you go, beware.


	3. Ch apt 3r 3

*EPISODE 3*

*Episode starts with an UNFAMILIAR SCENE*

*A Short clip of a CAR driving down a ROAD (in real life) is SEEN*

*EPISODE cuts to the GRIFFIN family LIVING ROOM, the WHOLE family is present despite PREVIOUS DEATHS*

a - lois: On TV

a - peter: ShUt Up MeG

*MEG is VISIBLY upset, her expression changes to a neutral/indifferent state*

*MEG Rises from the ground and PHASES through the roof*

*SCENE transitions to a PARTIALLY destroyed version of the LIVING ROOM*

*PETER is the only member of the GRIFFIN family present*

a - peter: I must team up with Quagmire to FINd a LEPRACHUAN and force BART SIMPSON into CHILD SLAVERY

*PETER leaves through the front door*

*SCENE TRANSITIONS to an empty and flat expanse of grass, an orange plasticy statue of QUAGMIRE is the only visible landmark*

a - peter: hey quagmire, come with me we must look for a LEPRACHAUN

*The QUAGMIRE statue starts to glow dimly*

a - Quagmire (In an echoey and multidirectional voice): Not now PETER, I must keep the UNIVERSE in balance, If I am not present in these fields, the universe will fall to disorder

*The STATUE's glow ceases*

a - peter: Lois i have haert disease

a - peter: lois i must take multiple Quaaludes drugs

*SCENE TRANSITIONS back to the destroyed living room*

*PETER sits MOTIONLESS on the couch*

\- Peter griffon: 01000010 01100001 01110010 01100010 01100101 01100011

01110101 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001

01100011 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110111

01101001 01101110 01100111 01110011 00101100 00100000

01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01111001

01100101 01100001 01101000 00100000 01100010 01110010

01101111 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00101110

*Peter looks startled at something OFF SCREEN*

*SCENE TRANSITIONS to a first person POV*

a - UNKNOWN MAN: Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border,

right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that

thief over there.

a - UNKNOWN MAN 2: Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was

nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for you, I could've stolen

that horse and been half way to Hammerfell. You there. You and me - we

shouldn't be here. It's these Stormcloaks the Empire wants.

*Scene ends*

*Scene cuts to same clip of man jacking off as the second episode*

*01010000 01100001 01110000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110*

︎ ︎●︎●︎□︎ ︎⧫︎⬧︎ ❍︎ ︎? ﾸﾎ ⬧︎ ︎■︎⬧︎ ◆︎■︎ ︎ ︎❒︎⧫︎ ︎●︎ ︎ ︎ ︎●︎●︎□︎ ︎⧫︎⬧︎ ❍︎ ︎? ﾸﾎ ⬧︎ ︎■︎⬧︎ ◆︎■︎ ︎ ︎❒︎⧫︎ ︎●︎ ︎ ︎ ︎●︎●︎□︎ ︎⧫︎⬧︎ ❍︎ ︎? ﾸﾎ ⬧︎ ︎■︎⬧︎ ◆︎■︎ ︎ ︎❒︎⧫︎ ︎●︎ ︎

Ge er

al Tull

ius, sir! The he

adsm

an is wai ti

n g!

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	4. apter 5

*EPISODE 5*

囲ッ若ご竹 bbbb

囲ッ若ご竹 bbb

囲ッ若ご竹 bb

囲ッ若ご竹 b

a - sp0ngebob from spongebob: I have aids

a - peter gr f:n: Good afternoon. Let begin by saying that although this has been billed as an anti-war rally, I stand before you as someone who is not opposed to war in all circumstances.

*SCENE FADES TO WHITE*

*SCENE fades back to the GRIFFIN FAMILY living room*

*Unidentifyable figure is STANDING ominously in the corner of the room*

*the figure PHASES through the floor, a period of time elapses, and the figure emerges back into the room, revealing itself to be LEGO YODA from LEGO STAR WARS THE COMPLETE SAGAtm*

k - yoda: lost your family in tragic accidents you have

k - yoda: MMM, fuel my ketamine addiction i must

*live action gargamel fro m the smurf live action movie 2011 appears next to LEGO YODA, brandishing a Winchester Model 1897 shotgun*

*GARGAMEL pumps the Winchester Model 1897, in a shot closer to him, making a strange addition to the end of the barrel visible*

(Its a fleshlight)

*GARGAMEL shoots YODA and yoda fuc,king DIES*

a - yoda: dead i am, no longer able to smoke meth icsg

jh

a - peter: 如果你能讀到這個，你不應該這樣，這只是一個奇怪的填充物，使這個故事的恥辱比它已經是陌生的

a - lois ghost: petAH

a - Gargamel: The Tiananmen Square protests, commonly known

in mainland China as the June Fourth Incident (Chinese: 六四事件, liùsì shìjiàn), were student-led

demonstrations held in Tiananmen Square in Beijing during 1989. The popular national movement inspired

by the Beijing protests is sometimes called the '89 Democracy Movement (Chinese: 八九民运, bājiǔ mínyùn). The

protests started on April 15 and were for

cibly suppressed on Ju

ne 4 when the government decl

ared martial law and s

a - peter: Thank you Gargamel, much appreciated.

*GARGAMEL FADES INTO THIN AIR*

ᖽᐸᖽᐸᖽᐸ - ᕵᘿᖶᘿᖇ: ᓰ ᘻᑘSᖶ ᘜᓍ ᖶᓍ ᖽᐸᗩᗱᗩᖽᐸᕼSᖶᗩᘉ

*Peter evaporates*

*Scene transitions to a city in KAZAKHSTAN*

*PETER is seen PHASING into EXISTENCE*

k - peter: I have haert disease

k - lois: huehh

k - peter: Slurp juice fortnite (Battle royale)

*LAUGH TRACK*

*LAUGH T RACK**L

AU

GH T

RACK*

*A SMURF appears and THROWS a SUBWAYtm SANDWICH towards PETER*

*THE sandwich KNOCKs peter out due to subway being a hardened weapons manufacturing company known for their hihh quality military products such as military jeeps, firearms, and quality gear that stands up to harsh conditions*

*PETER wakes up and is CHAINED up to a WALL*

*PETER is in a room with a PENTAGRAM glowing on the floor*

*LOIS GRIFFin RISIS from the pentagram*

a - lois: y'all heard of this coin thing?

*THE WHOLE ROOM SHAKES VIOLENTLY*

*SCREAM OF SOULS TRAPPED IN HELL PERMIATE THE ROOM*

*hit song COTTEN EYE JOE is heard playing in ANOTHE ROOM, at a volume that is AUDIBLE but MUFFLED by the walls*

*FLYING GORRILA FROM THE NEW APP ON THE APP STORE CALLED FLYING GORRILA (its a free download so i hope you check it out) BREAKS THROUGHT THE WALL AND FREES P{ETER*

*Episode flips to split second clip of man jacking off (again, the same guy), before ending*

FATHER ABRAHAM CHRISTIAN CHILDRENS SONG:

father abraham had many sons

many sons had father abraham

i am one of them

and so are you

so lets all pr

aise th

e lord

P raise the da

rk lord lois gri

ffin (From the popular Television series family guy)

if your reding this your ga y

Hey nico cousin, lets go bo wling e ee e9996987789879978


	5. Ch ter 4

EPISODE 4

scatmans world

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Financial crisis

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

A financial crisis is any of a broad variety of situations in which some financial assets suddenly lose a large part

of their nominal value. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, many financial crises

were associated with banking panics, and many recessions coincided with these panics. Other situations that are often called financial crises include stock market crashes and the bursting of other

financial bubbles, currency crises, and sovereign defaults.[1][2] Financial crises directly result in a loss of paper wealth but do not necessarily result in

significant changes in the real economy

(e.g. the crisis resulting from the famous tulip mania bubble in the 17th century).

Many economists have offered theories about how financial crises develop and how they

could be prevented. There is no consensus, however, and financial crises continue to occur from time to time.

LOIS griffin

QUAGMIRE WILL KEEP THE WORLDS IN BALANCE

LOIS GRIFFIN CHALLENGES HIS POWER, IF SHE IS NOT STOPPED ALL LIFE WILL END

WEENIS LOL

hj e

a - climate change: hi guys its me, climate change

a - peter: obama and osama, 88 19, 88 1-9, bush did 9/11 ANDHB

POLIO is CRIPPLING OUR NATION e1111111111111111

a - Quagmire: Peter, you must stop lois from plunging thw rodl into chaos

Search with Bing...

a - peter: shut up meG

Search with Bing...

Search with Bign...

Bing*

sStory: The Peter family goes Karting «

Help/Info : August Stats: For the month of 2019-08, there have been a total of 9 Views and 9 Visitors

Story: The Peter family goes Karting «

Help/Info : August Stats: For the month of 2019-08, there have been a total of 9 Views and 9 Visitors

Story: The Peter family goes Karting «

Help/Info : August Stats: For the month of 2019-08, there have been a total of 9 Views and 9 Visitors

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